COMPARATR™

...ASSIGNS YOU A NUMBER. DETERMINE YOUR WORTH FROM IT.

COMPARATR™ HELPS YOU UNDERSTAND YOUR VALUE AS A HUMAN / SOCIAL MEDIA INPUT VECTOR. PLEASE DO NOT ASK HOW COMPARATR™ SCORES ARE DETERMINED. THE ALGORITHM IS A CLOSELY-GUARDED SECRET, FULL OF INHERENT MEANING. ALLEGATIONS OF UNFAIRNESS AGAINST THE COMPARATR™ ALGORITHM WILL LIKELY LOWER YOUR COMPARATR™ SCORE. COMPARATR™ SCORES ARE GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE ALONG 32 DIMENSIONS OF COMPARABILITY.

SIGN ME THE FUCK UP
COMPARATR™ DOES NOT ENDORSE THIRD-PARTY WEBSITES LIKE INCOMPARATR. COMPARATR™ REMINDS YOU THAT YOUR SELF-WORTH DEPENDS ON A HIGH COMPARATR™ SCORE AND LITTLE ELSE. DO NOT BE TEMPTED BY THE ALLURE OF FEEL-GOOD HIPPIE MESSAGES.